Help me out here, Jezebeauts. I know a lot of you have suffered the same.
I don't want biological children (possibly open to adoption). My S.O. will one day want biological children. I am concerned this will tear us apart after years of investment/attachment. He is never concerned about anything because he doesn't have the part of the brain that makes people worry or imagine the worst or be pessimistic. "WAR?!?!?! THAT MEANS A PEACE TREATY IS COMING! :D" He is manically optimistic.
Additional info: He suggested a surrogate mother for our spawn. I am not keen on the idea. 1) It feels exploitative/I have read articles about women who get depressed after being torn away from the baby they've bonded with and go on anti-depressants and other drugs. I need more research here. 2) He isn't known for his foresight. I fear he will resent me for being 'cold' and not wanting to carry our child. 3) I just don't like the idea of having a biological child. Period. I would much rather adopt.
What I want: 1) For hypnotherapy to be real and to be brainwashed into wanting to be pregnant and pop out a kid or two. That thing that so many mothers and potential mothers have that makes them go, "BABIES! YAY! OMY SO EXCITED! I AM FULFILLED!" I am missing it. I know a lot of you are missing it too. I think my life would be easier if I wasn't missing the part of the brain labeled "Babies!" So, if you know of convincing brainwashing techniques, please share. 2) Opinions on surrogacy. Yes/No? Why?
Personal Life Anecdote (always): My friend told me her long term boyfriend mentioned something about wanting to put his babies in her (he was less crude and more romantic) and she was giddy. She was swooning as she retold the story. Meanwhile I was horrified and shuffering and wanted to vomit. That's how broken that part of my brain is. I get creeped out when other men want to impregnate other consenting and eager women. So fucked up.